I Bet You are Addicted to Facebook

A recent new Scottish study reveals that Facebook addiction is being compared to a gambling addiction. I find this odd only because I do not think I have ever encountered someone wearing a kilt on Facebook.

The Scottish study is in contrast to a recent study on ABC News that reported that there are no real scientific studies that have been done on Facebook Addiction. However, Dr. James Mol, a psychologist for Providence Behavioral Health said millions of Americans do have some sort of Internet addiction. It appears that a great many noggin doctors have been saying that many of their patients have admitted they have a problem in their coconut with their own inability to step away from the computer.

Social Networking is a fairly new phenomenon and there are currently no universally accepted rules to diagnose an addiction to a social networking site like Facebook. Luckily, this is where the Greek Blonde Girl comes in and saves the day. As the newly self-appointed Czar of Facebook Addiction I’ve decided to list a few common, but yet unusual traits to keep in mind if you think you/your friends/lovers/BFF/boss/co-workers/or newly made Facebook friends might have a social networking disease.

1. You are doing your 2011 taxes and spend all day trying to find the proper online form to deduct your Farmville crop loses on Turbo Tax.
2. You spend more of your paycheck buying Facebook cash to play Facebook games than you do buying sneakers in the real world. That’s just wrong.
3. You update your Facebook wall on your cell phone while you are on a public toilet. You are so engrossed in updating your status that you forget to turn off the location feature. No one wants to know that you are in the ladies room at Kohl’s updating your status and doing your business at the same time.
4. You list your high score on Bejewled Blitz as a skill on your resume.
5. You search on Facebook for my manager Mr. Bricks’ profile so you can add him as a friend and check out the photos of his lazy eye. trust me, it’s not a pretty sight.
6. You realize maybe it was a big mistake to try to do some of the same things you do playing Mafia Wars to help you try to get a better table at a restaurant.
7. You know what it means to “pimp your profile.”
8. You added a person from your past as a “friend” but really it was to keep an eye on them. Hello people. That’s called stalking and there are laws against that!
9. You’ve seen the movie The Social Network more than once.
10. You look at your Facebook news feed before your morning coffee and you look at Facebook news feed after your evening Vodka.

So, as more and more people become Facebook members this problem is not going away, its only getting worse. So it looks like my job of the Czar of Facebook Addiction is secure for many years to come.

It should also be noted that Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook or the Winklevoss Twins have not yet commented on the new study.

by Ava Aston's Muckery