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Advantages of being over Fifty Yrs. Old

> 01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
> 02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
> 03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
> 04. People call at 9 PM and ask, did I wake you?
> 05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
> 06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
> 07. Things you buy now won't wear out.
> 08. You can eat supper at 4PM.
> 09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
> 10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
> 11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
> 12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
> 13. You sing along with elevator music.
> 14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
> 15 . Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
> 16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
> 17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
> 18.Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
> 19.You can't remember who sent you this list.
> And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience
> And Never, Never, Never , under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

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